Do your project plans end up with delivery communications like this?

The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it. Albert Einstein

One of my collogues sent me a list of situation quotes to tickle my funny bone. But they are so close to the reality bone I have included them here as a learning resource.

If you are a manager or leading a project try them out as in warm up session for a planning workshop or a brainstorming session asking the question “Can anyone relate to this and if so can you see how perhaps is Einstein is right?”

 

clip_image001‘As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.’

(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp in Redmond WA) love it – could see this happening in several places I’ve worked for!!

 

Do you clients send out Terms of Reference like this

clip_image001[4]‘What we need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter.’

(Lykes Lines Shipping)

 

 

 

 

 

clip_image001‘Email is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business.’ (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

clip_image002‘This project is so important we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it.’ (Advertising/ Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)


clip_image003‘Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.’  (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)

 

 

 

 

 

clip_image004‘No one will believe you solved this problem in one day ! We’ve been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I’ll let you know when it’s time to tell them.’

(R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/ 3M Corp)


clip_image005Quote from the Boss: ‘Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.'(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)


clip_image006My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said,‘That would be better for me.’
(Shipping executive, FTD Florists)


clip_image007‘We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees.’ (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

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